I'm No Supermom...And That's Okay

Hello. My name is Alina, and I'm a perfectionist. I struggle with letting others help me...because they may do it differently than I would (or less than perfectly). I am completely unable to delegate tasks because by the time I explain the "correct" way to do something, I could have just done it myself. I can't even begin to count the times I've said, "that's not the way I would have done it..." and no you're not imagining the condescending tone there. 

I've allowed myself to believe that my way is the  best way. That my way is what helps me avoid anxiety and stress. But you want to know what I've learned? Those are lies. I'm not less stressed out when I'm having to do everything by myself because in my head everyone else does it wrong. I'm not less anxious when I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off to accomplish 10x what the average human is supposed to do in a day. And the worst part? I'm not accomplishing anything of substance because I'm stressing about every tiny detail of the most mundane things!

In the last 30 days, I've gotten a major wake up call. I don't know what finally made it all click, but I finally realized that I'm not meant to do it all. God didn't design this life for me to just be busy. And He, more than anyone, knows just how fall short from perfect I really fall. Why am I, a person who values authenticity above all else, struggling and working so hard to keep up this appearance of perfection?

So what do you do when you realize that you're surrounding yourself with all the wrong things? Let's be clear, I don't mean bad things. Being the go to volunteer at school is great...if you're spending every moment of your time (and not just your free time) to help out with any and every thing, you're doing a disservice not only to yourself, but also to the other parents who may step up if you got out of their way. Being the super PTA mom is great...but if you're taking on every single project, what's the rest of the team supposed to do? Being on the Women's Ministry board at church is great...but if you're so tied up in every other over-commitment that you can't even make it to class on the regular, how exactly are you serving those women? 

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. And I know I'm not the only one. Moms today are tired and I think more so than ever before. We're running kids to 1700 different activities and making sure that we look like supermom to our friends on every social media platform available. We're grabbing fast food through the drive through on our way from PTA meetings to drop the kids off before we run off to Bunco night or soccer practice. It's not that what we're doing is bad, but we're not leaving any breathing room, or at least I wasn't.

After almost 2 years of non-stop over-commitment, it finally became crystal clear. In trying to serve everybody, I actually wasn't serving anybody. And you know what, I'm tired of sleepless nights, staying up trying to finish another project that was delegated to someone else, but I somehow managed to take over (whether through their failure to finish or my idea that I could do it better.) 

So, what do you do when you realize that you're an exhausted, over-committed, perfectionist with an unrealistic desire to be supermom? You re-evaluate. And I'm talking EVERYTHING. Re-evaluate it all! 

"...trying to be Perfect with a capital P isn't all it's cracked up to be...It takes courage to admit that you are both flawed and vulnerable, and BEING COURAGEOUS IS BETTER THAN BEING PERFECT any day of the week and twice on Sunday." - Sarah Knight

Over the last week, I have working my way through a devotional called "100 Days to Brave." Y'all if you asked me on any given day if I thought I was brave, I would say "heck yeah!" I've endured some crazy ish in my life and survived it all. I'm not generally one to start a fight, but I'll certainly finish it. I'm not one to back down. But there's a different kind of bravery...and I don't have it naturally. 

I'm a sucker for the rules. Even rules that aren't really rules but more like social suggestions. You know, like don't wear white after Labor Day. That's not a rule, but I'm still scared to break it. WHY? Who is it hurting if I rock those white jeans in January?? I mean they would look fabulous with those new boots I just bought! I'm tired of perfection! Or better yet, the illusion of perfection. Well behaved women rarely make history, I can't remember who said that, but dang it's true!! Why should we be afraid to bend (or straight up break) these social rules that tell us we have to sign up for everything, we have to have perfectly clean houses at all times (I know I'm not the only one scrambling to make our house look like it's just been featured in Southern Living when company is coming), our kids have to be in the cutest clothes and signed up for every single activity...and going to what feels like 4,000 birthday parties in a year. (I've been the mom throwing those over the top parties. I get it moms, I really do, but admit it, we're all tired of spending so much hard earned money on birthday presents that are just going to sit in a drawer or get donated to Goodwill in a few months.)

So much of what we do is defined by what other people will see and think. Whether we realize it or not, we're consumed by it. And I'll tell you, I pride myself on not caring what other people think. But then WHAM! It hit me like a ton of bricks!! If I don't care what other people think, why am I running myself ragged chasing perfection and keeping myself constantly over-committed and so busy that there's hardly time to breathe? Am I doing that for me? Am I doing that because it is improving my family's quality of life? Am I doing it because God has put it on my heart to keep this unattainable schedule? NOPE!! I'm doing it because someone else asked me to. And then I'm putting my own unreasonable expectations on a project or task that I already don't have time for. Then when other people see that I'm somehow managing to do all of these things, you know what they think? Wow, wouldn't it be great if she could help me with ____________. It's not their fault, it's mine. I'm giving the allusion that I'm available for every single thing. I'm giving people permission to sign me up for every project without thinking through the time commitment or how this will fit into an already ridiculous schedule. It's nobody's fault but my own. Because I'm spending my life chasing perfection.

Not one minute longer, y'all. Shoot, not one more second. When I realized what I was doing and the impact it was having on my family, my relationships, and even on my health, I knew something had to change and fast. But how would I know what I could take off of my plate? I mean, it all seemed so important...I certainly couldn't stop doing ___________ and I definitely couldn't step down from ___________. I saw no options of anything that I could just stop doing. NOT ONE THING. It was all too important. So, I started praying. And not just here and there, but every time I found a had a spare moment. Begging God to show me how to turn things around and start letting Him fill my calendar (and my life) with the things He had purposed for me. 

I wasn't prepared for the answer I got and if I'm honest I didn't like. I didn't see how it could possibly work. He wasn't calling me to take one thing off my plate. Not one single thing...but ALL THE THINGS. As I was looking at my calendar, I saw the plan so clearly. Every single one of my commitments wrapped up around the same time. As long as I didn't take anything else on and simply didn't recommit to keeping up these jobs/projects/tasks for another year, I could finish what I had agreed to do and step down from everything with a clear conscience. I hadn't planned that, God did. Before I even knew that I had a problem, He was already orchestrating my out. 

Y'all, I don't know if you're in the same place I am feeling overwhelmed, over-worked, and just plain exhausted, but there is freedom in knowing that we aren't called to live this way. There is peace in knowing that God doesn't want this for us and it's okay to take a step back. 

Last night, I sat in a room filled with women I love and care about. One in particular that I believe is in the same place I am, with too much on her plate and the world on her shoulders, and who I count as one of my closest friends. I had to look these women in the eyes and let them know that I was stepping down from our church's women's ministry. That I was no longer able to stand alongside them and serve in the same capacity. That I believed God was moving me out of the way so that another woman, whose heart He was already working on, would have a place to step into. Reactions were mixed from encouragement and thanks for my almost 2 years of service to tears and hurt feelings. It hurt my heart to feel like I was leaving these women vulnerable and piling more work on their shoulders. It hurt me to walk away from something I desperately want to be a part of, but today I'm clinging to the fact that God will provide for them and He is leading me into a new chapter, maybe even a new book entirely, and only He knows what it looks like. And I trust that it is exactly what my heart and body need after this challenging season.

Mamas, I think sometimes we just need to hear that we're not alone. That someone else is walking the same road, even if they are a couple of steps ahead of us. And I think that sometimes we need someone to say...it's okay to fail. It's okay to walk away. It's okay to stop trying to be everything to everyone. And it's okay to take care of you. I'm right there with you and I'm praying for you. I pray that God will create a peace in your heart that allows you to see the places where you can step back and reevaluate those over-commitments. And more than anything, I pray that you will take time to take care of you. You matter, mama! (And so does your sanity!)

Do I Really Need One More Book?

Since posting yesterday's challenge group announcement, I've been hit with tons of questions about what exactly this whole "Made to Crave" thing is all about. Why do I want you to add one more step to the already ridiculously hard process of trying to lose weight and get healthy? I mean how in the world are you supposed to cram even one more thing into your schedule?

Trust me. My schedule is as busy as yours. I mean my calendar has scribbles all over it and papers sticking out all woppy-jawed (yes, that's a word...at least here in the south). My calendar is such a hot mess that looking at it would give very little indication of just how OCD I really am. But trust me, this book is like the secret sauce, let's call it the BOOM SAUCE, that little extra oomph that's not only going to help you reach your goals, but help you tackle the demons that will drag you back to your starting place if you're not careful.

{Photo Cred: Lysa TerKeurst}

Why this book? Well, Lysa won my heart within the first few pages of her book when she confessed a secret love of Cheez-Its, which I've shared many times is my kryptonite. Hi, my name is Alina and I'm addicted to Cheez-Its...you think I'm joking, but I'm not!! And neither is she. She confesses that she hates working out and has never craved a carrot stick. She would happily chow down on any junk food you put in front of her, as would I, but she also battles the guilt that comes in the morning.

But I'll leave you with this quote from Lysa that perfectly sums up why I feel like this book is the BOOM SAUCE you need on this journey, because I could never word it as beautifully (or as hysterically) as she does.

"...I am well acquainted with the words muffin top and cellulite. Muffin tops and cellulite with stretch marks, thank you very much and have a nice day. I also know what it's like to feel sad and powerless in this battle to get healthy.

I want to lead Jesus girls on a journey that will help them find a stick-to-itiveness and a lasting want-to that taps into something much more powerful than the surface desires of wanting to weigh less and wear a smaller size. We need to tap into this power because the battle we face isn't just with sugary, fatty, or salty foods. There is a spiritual battle going on. It's real. And it's amazing how perfectly the Bible gives us specific ways to find victory with our food struggles.

Even for girls like us who don't crave carrot sticks." - Lysa TerKeurst, "Made to Crave Devotional"

{Photo Cred: Lysa TerKeurst}

Girl, if you're tired of trying to hide that muffin top with loose flowing tops, if you can't stand the thought of squeezing into a pair of jeans, or if you're avoiding stepping on the scale because you're just not prepared for the number staring back at you...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! This group, complete with workouts, nutrition, and the secret BOOM SAUCE that is this book, is going to change your life in so many ways.

Are you ready to put down your excuses and finally commit to getting healthy? Today is the day!! Comment below with your email or head over to my Facebook page, Get Fit with Alina, and shoot me a message.

You can also learn more about my exclusive 40 day Made to Crave Challenge Group HERE.

Made To Crave: 40 Day Challenge

Months have passed since my last post. Life has gotten in the way and I've let my focus be taken elsewhere, but that ends today. If you want to know the truth, I've been struggling big time to stick to regular clean eating and exercise. I've struggled to pick a workout program and actually make it to the finish line. For weeks things are going well and then it's like I've run face first into a brick wall...WHAM! And just like that I'm back off track, back to old eating habits, and skipping workouts. It's this crazy never-ending cycle.

So for the last couple of months I've been contemplating why it was so easy to find success in 2013 and why I just seem to be chasing it now, but always coming up short. I'm tired of the back and forth, the inconsistency, and of hearing myself use the tired excuse that I'll start tomorrow. Enough is enough, today is the day. But this is definitely not a journey I want to take alone, so I'm challenging you to join me.

If you're tired of getting on the scale in nothing but your skivvies and still cringing at the number staring back at you...If you're waking up each morning regretting food choices from the day before...If you've tried every diet or workout program you can find and still nothing works...If you're ready to take your life back...then this is for you.

Starting July 31st, the doors are opening to my exclusive 40 day "Made to Crave" VIRTUAL GYM. 

Why 40 days? Throughout the Bible, God uses 40-day periods to orchestrate life changing events, like:

• Moses presented the 10 Commandments to the Israelites after spending 40 days and nights alone with God on Mount Sinai.
• Elijah spent 40 days with God being refreshed and renewed after his standoff against the prophets of Baal.
• After his baptism, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert fasting and praying, preparing for His mission.
• Jesus appeared to believers over a period of 40 days after His resurrection.

During the 40 days of this group, we will read through Lysa TerKeurst's "Made to Crave" while tackling a workout program and getting our food in check. We will learn to break the cycle of "I'll start again on Monday," to stop agonizing over numbers on the scale, we'll reach our healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process, and we will replace rationalizations that lead to failure with wisdom that lead to victory.

I am opening this group to 10 amazing women who are ready to link arms with one another, cheering each other on as we grow closer to God and take back our lives from the unhealthy habits that are ruling them today. It doesn't matter where you live, how in shape or out of shape you are or how crazy your schedule is...WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER!

It's time to take our lives back from all of the excuses we con ourselves into believing, from jam-packed schedules, and from unhealthy food cravings that are ruling our thoughts and causing constant regret and poor food choices. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! 

So, how to you join?

• You invest in your CHALLENGE PACK (the most bang you can possibly get for your buck) which includes:
• A FULL DVD workout package (comes with a calendar so you know what workouts to do each day and always has ways to modify)
• A complete nutrition guide and meal prep booklet customized for YOUR journey on this program
• A 30 day supply of the best health shake on the market to FUEL your body
• Purchase "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst, so you can follow along with each day's reading
• You'll also receive:
• Access to this exclusive Made To Crave Challenge Group which is full of healthy resources!
• A positive and uplifting community that will keep you excited and accountable
• A coach (ME!) to help you along the way and keep you accountable
• A 30 day trial of Beachbody on Demand which includes a TON of different workouts to stream online AND  a clean cooking show to help you make some awesome recipes and meal prep.

I truly believe this is exactly the group you've been waiting for. This is exactly what's going to help you bust through that plateau and finally put down every single excuse you've been holding on to. This group is what is going to help you CRUSH YOUR GOALS!!

I'm beyond excited for this group to begin and I hope you'll join me on this amazing journey!! Comment below with your email or hop on over to my Facebook page, Get Fit with Alina, and message me to get signed up.

Challenge Group Sneak Peek, Part 2

Yesterday, you guys got to laugh and the hilarity of our wacky water challenge and today I'm going to share some of the other awesome things my challengers have been posting. This group has been so active, so fun, and best of all every single one of them is in there daily encouraging one another. People that have never even met each other are cheering one another on and building friendships. It's a really beautiful thing to see! They're sharing struggles and helping each other push past barriers, they're sharing some of the most delicious recipes I've ever seen, and watching them compete to see which team is the daily winner has been a hoot and a half. They love the points!!!

The struggle was real for one challenger who made sure her grocery shopping left her with a house full of clean eating foods, but what she didn't account for were roommates with a "slightly" different diet. She was brave enough to share with us when she caved and devoured a pizza. And the response was as amazing as her authenticity. People were encouraging her to shake it off and not give up and reminding her of all the awesome things she had already accomplished this month.

They're daily sharing their water intake, tricks for staying hydrated, completing silly challenges and sharing their workouts. And having Beachbody on Demand has been a great way for them to try new workouts and mix up their routine. 

They're working on more than just their nutrition and fitness. They're also spending daily time working on their minds. Personal development is such an integral part of our challenge groups. They've shared Bible studies they're working on, blogs they've written, and more. We even have several girls in the same Bible study so it's given them another venue to discuss what they're learning.

And the food, y'all. It's incredible!!! They make the most incredible food!!! I feel like my mouth is watering every single time I check in on the group. And they share the recipes too!! 

We're having a blast this month! Ready to make some changes, see results, and have a blast in the process? It's time to join my October Challenge Group!! My challenge groups are a great way to learn some new skills, get encouraged to start and sick with your fitness journey, and reach your goals. You won't want to miss the next group! Follow the link above or email me for more information.

Personal Development: What is it & why do I need it?

When you join a challenge group, you'll make 10 commitments that you're going to stick to for the duration of the group. Whether the group lasts 7 days or 21, you're going to stick to them every single day. One of those commitments is dedicating an hour a week to personal development. As always, let me be real, the first time my coach mentioned personal development, I had no idea what she was talking about. Her answer was much simpler than I expected and hopefully, you find mine to be that way too.

Here's the simplest answer, your personal development can be anything you'd like, but the key is to find something that helps you eliminate or minimize your weaknesses. Ok, that sounds more complicated than it should. Let's back up a little. 

In some ways, your mind can be your worst enemy. I know when I took up running, my mind would tell me I couldn't go on any longer, long before my legs did. My mind would tell me those last few steps weren't possible, but if I pushed, my legs would definitely carry me. You have to be able to push past what your mind is telling you. How do you do that?

One of the most effective things you can do is to change your mindset and personal development is the key to your success. It's your job to protect your dreams, protect your goals, and protect the journey that you're on. When you're taking the time to pour into positive things into yourself, learn new skills, and encourage yourself, you're less likely to buckle under the pressure of negativity. Whether that negativity comes from your own head or people around, the goal of personal development is to refocus you and keep your eyes on the prize. 

We all have strengths and weaknesses, but we can't simply rely on our strengths to push us toward what we want most. If we don't deal with our weaknesses, they can easily drag us down. We certainly want to play up our strengths, but at the same time we should figure out what those weaknesses are and find a way to face them head on. 

For me one of my biggest weaknesses is that I'll pour everything I have into everyone around me and not leave any time for myself. If you're a mama reading this, I'm just going to assume that you understand and please know you are not alone!! Solidarity sister!! When it came time to figure out what I felt like I was lacking, I realized it was simply some "me time." My life had become so busy and frazzled, that despite loving the Bible study I was supposed to be participating in at church, I never seemed to be able to find the time and each week I was slipping farther behind. For an overachieving, type A, that's a problem. 

That did, however, make my decision an easy. Personal development for me would be my Bible study time. I marked off 30 minutes each day, knowing that as long as I accomplished 10 minutes, I had done what I planned. That gave me room for life to get in the way, for my daughter to wake up crazy early, for my alarm to not go off on time, it gave me wiggle room. And mamas, I know you know how difficult a strict schedule is, we need flexibility...but we also need accountability. We've got to stick to what we're committing to do. Adding that wiggle room was the solution for me. 

Having that time for myself sets the tone for my entire day. I'm ready to face the world knowing that my head and my heart are in the right place. And most of all, on the days that I let life take over and throw me off course, I can tell a difference. Maybe I'm a little less pleasant or I'm like a rubberband stretched too tightly...the smallest thing could make me snap. 

That time has become a staple in my day. I've made it a priority and it's the last thing I'm willing to give up. Why? Because when I've accomplished that and I've had that quiet time with God, I'm empowered to face my day. I'm ready to sit down and write the next blog post, or pour encouragement into my challengers, even power through a tough workout. When my mind starts telling me I can't do something, Scripture comes to mind. That's exactly what helps me push through. 

That's why I have my challengers spend time each week on personal development. I want them to build confidence in the areas where they are the weakest so they find it even easier to take steps in the right direction to help them reach their goals. And that's exactly why I'm glad my coach made it a requirement too. 

It really is mind over matter, but sometimes you need to change your mind before you can find success. Below are some great recommendations that you may want to try and please don't worry if Bible study isn't your thing, there are plenty of other options.

Not a reader? Try a podcast! The podcast app on my iPhone has TONS of great audio and it's FREE!

Bible Studies:

"Jesus, The One & Only" - Beth Moore: I'm currently working through this one and I love it. It's a very in depth study of the Book of Luke that takes you on a journey with Christ throughout his ministry.

"What Love Is" - Kelly Minter: I did this study a few months ago and it is probably one of the best studies I've ever done. It takes you through 1, 2, & 3 John and it's powerful!

"Armor of God" - Priscilla Shirer: This is probably one of the most intense studies I've ever done. Learn about how to put on the armor of God and how to wear each piece effectively every single day.

What's On My List To Read:

"7 Habits of Highly Effective People" - Stephen R. Covey

"Tribes" - Seth Godin

"The Slight Edge: Secret To A Successful Life" - Jeff Olson

"Salt, Sugar, Fat: How The Food Giants Hooked Us" - Michael Moss

Y'all there are so many other wonderful books, podcasts, webinars, etc out there. You just have to be willing to look! But I can promise you that if you take the time to pour into yourself an hour a week or 10 minutes a day, you are going to see a change in yourself! Make the time...it's worth it!

Comment below and let me know what you're reading (or listening to)! I would love to know!

What's the wise thing to do?

For me, there is much more to health and wellness than just working out and eating well. It's regular quality time with my family, it's taking time to volunteer and give back, and it's making time to refill my tank each week. I get that's kind of an odd phrase, so what exactly does it mean? For me, it's my personal development time. Time that I focus on improving other areas of my life, developing skills or gaining knowledge. Most days that time is my Bible study. I mean y'all there is nothing better than a cup of coffee and some quiet time with my Bible. Ok, let's be honest here, I gave up coffee (for this "recovering" coffee addict, that may come as a shock to some) and switched to my Shakeology, but it's just as good!

That quiet time helps me set my focus for the day. It helps me start on the right foot and helps me grow my relationship with my heavenly Father. I love that time and generally I wouldn't trade it for a self-help book or listening to a motivational speaker. But yesterday, I stumbled across a series of podcasts by Andy Stanley, a preacher I've learned so much from over the last year and a half. The series, "Ask The Question," is 6-parts and as I got ready for church, I figured listening to it might be the perfect place to get my mind and my heart in the right place before heading into my Sunday school class. And y'all, that's exactly what it was. 

In part one of the series, Andy focuses on the question, "What's the wise thing to do?" Now this might seem like a simple question and right now, you're not seeing at all how this relates to anything I normally post about, but bear with me and I promise it will come full circle. 

So over the last few weeks, I've been pushing hard with some tough love and lots of encouragement to get people to join my August Challenge Group...that's not what this post is about. I want you to hang on to all that tough love about taking a leap and how much I believe in you and keep that in the back of your head. Now, take a second to think about your goals. Maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you want to be healthier for your kids, or to help your family eat better meals. Whatever you're goal is, ask yourself, "what am I doing today to reach that goal?" If your answer is nothing, then this post is for you!! 

Now, I want you to ask yourself Andy Stanley's full question, "In light of your CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES, what is the wise thing to do?" Maybe you have four kids and hardly have two minutes to use the bathroom alone. In light of those circumstances, what is the wise thing to do...to help you reach your goal? Maybe you need to find quick meal recipes and need tips on how to prep meals throughout the week to save you time and make a little extra time in your day for a short workout. Maybe your gym doesn't offer childcare and you have a little one at home. Consider some home workout options. Hard circumstances don't mean we give up on what we want. We simply need to find the wise solution. 

Now, I think it's important to note that Andy Stanley's original purpose of this podcast wasn't to direct your fitness life, but I completely agree with him that this question can be applied to any aspect of your life...finances, relationships, jobs, and even fitness!

Alright, so you've looked at your current circumstances. You've identified what you're working with and what you need to overcome today. The last question I want you to ask yourself is, "In light of your future hopes & dreams, what's the wise thing to do?" If you dream of being able to run a 5k, is the wise thing to do to spend 2 hours at night sitting on the couch binge-watching "Friends" on Netflix? I mean, "Friends" is awesome, but probably not. 

What can you do today, in light of your current circumstances, to achieve your future hopes and dreams? Don't give in to what you want right now, in this moment, if it doesn't bring you closer to that goal you want so badly to reach. So many things bring temporary pleasure that is quickly forgotten. I seriously just got an image of a Krispy Kreme donut in my mind and y'all that sounds pretty delicious right now. But since I've already used my lifestyle meal this week, is it wise to run down the street to Krispy Kreme and grab a hot, fresh donut? Probably not, and I doubt that would be a decision that I would feel good about. 

For me, I see this question as something I can apply to every circumstance and every decision I need to make. For you, maybe it's not so mind-blowing, but today I hope you'll at least take a moment to ask yourself...and it just might reveal something about you that you didn't already know.